I can't get John Meyer's song "Neon" outta my head.
The opening guitar riff is stuck in my brain and I'm actually kinda loving it.
So I'm now... what a week into being out of work on disability-leave?
I go insane every few hours.
Like about every 5 I just crack and go all twitchy and "OHMYGODwhatthehellamIdoinghomeWHATamIdoingwithmyLIFE?"
Yeah. Go me.
Yesterday I took a big trip. All the way to the beach with my folks. My "big day out", woohoo! I rode there, got out, built a cairn, froze half to death in under 10min, got back into the car and rode home. However I taught the old folks that the new fangled technology of mp3's and ipods are really really neat combined with FM tuning devices that hack into yer car radio. I gots powers yo.
I've come to the conclusion that I gotta do freelance.
I gotta suck it up and just damn doit. Oooh new word... DOIT. ha. misspellin is fun.
ow.
Yes I'm still "ow"ing.
My body still don't like me. But that's ok, I don't really like it either, so at least the feeling is mutual... but we're stuck with each other my body and me. Perhaps someday we'll resolve our differences.
Meanwhile-
I've been going through my cabinet of old art and folders from college, came across research I'd done for freelancing stuffs. I'm gonna go the pro route. 3 Genres too.
-Commercial work (illustration, my work that's highly marketable)
-Gallery (I'm and artist and I don't give a shit if you understand my vision because we both know you wanna buy it cus it's cool) work
-Retail/Public Spaces work (restaurants, shops, walls, volunteer, clubs etc)
I figure that no matter what all this turns out to be I have no choice... I gotta be persistant and get the jobs, do the work... because the alternative is to do a non-art job or seriously wind up doing big damage to my physical and stress oriented self by staying TOO long where I'm at now.
Hell, I'm in a place where the options are dwindling.
I actually had a GOOD conversation with my father about it the other day.
REALLY weird, he finally shut up and instead of thinking what he was gonna say next he actually listened to what I was saying and *got* it.
My dad is a quick judge of character. He actually is rather cold like that at times.
Random analogy-
He looks at a citrus fruit the size of a baseball... declares it's a navel orange. And he'll swear and fight with you that that's what it is, or he'll storm away "end of conversation".... if he'd look closer and peel the rind back he's see it's a tangelo... something completely different. Only way to get him to see that is to catch him in the right mood, right time of day and to stand there and peel the damn thing infront of him and make him take a bite. In my experience, when I've done that, he either gets irritated that I've called him on his shit or he claims I'm a genius and makes a big deal about how smart I am to discover something so different. *this is me, this is me rolling my eyes*
With that explained you can possibly understand how difficult it'd be to have a constructive conversation with him about my future or personal frustrations when whatever I say he's perceiving it COMPLETELY wrong. I say "I'm frustrated", he takes it as I'm throwing in the towel and have been defeated and given up all hope.
My sister too tends toward this misperception... only she leans toward my aunts methods. Very dramatic, tough love, or Wow that sucks I can SO relate... and then begins telling you a story ALL about her similar experience (that in some cases may be a real reach to get anywhere near similar) completely changing the subject and thus the conversation is utterly unhelpful to you. I myself do this at times and have over the past few years since realizing it have tried to stop.
Anyway... long tangent later...
I'm gettin used to being home again and finding it easing. I need a studio... that's my only beef. If I had a place here, all to myself that was a "real" studio... able to be messy and all I'd be set.
My hope is to start freelancing in the next few months.
Building a clientel, sending out mailings to art directors and such.
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